Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. —1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Singleness is often looked upon with pity, skepticism or outright scorn in many of today’s churches. Often without meaning to, married believers send singles the message that because they aren’t married, there is something wrong with them. Sometimes believers cite Paul as the ultimate example of singleness, telling single believers they have a special “gift of singleness” and are to remain single forever. While this is meant as encouragement, it often leaves the single believer feeling sad and alone. Paul’s lifelong single status seems to indicate that some believers are meant to stay single. However, this is rarer than most churches make it out to be. Focus on the latter part of today’s verse—“it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” God created us with a need for relationships. For most people, that means marriage. If you have been single for a long time yet want to be married, put the “gift of singleness” out of your mind. That is not likely your gift. However, a longing to be married doesn’t mean single Christians should constantly seek human relationships. It is better for Christian singles to bring their desire to God, pray diligently and use their single time wisely. If you are a single Christian, ask God how He wants you to use your time without a spouse. He may lead you to a new ministry. He may ask you to participate in mission work or to give yourself a needed mental and emotional rest. If you are single today, don’t give up hope for a spouse. At the same time, embrace your singleness and find lasting hope in God.
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