A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them and you will have to do it again.
—Proverbs 19:19
Someone once said to be careful about praying for patience, because you’ll get what you ask for—in the form of situations that test the patience you already have. In all seriousness, patience is often one of the most difficult fruits of the Spirit to cultivate. We want what we want the moment we ask for it, and we aren’t about to tolerate people who try our patience. This is especially true for young children. Children naturally expect the world to revolve around them, so they must learn patience and the lessons must be repeated often.
How you teach patience will depend heavily on your child. Some children’s temperaments allow them to be more patient than others. If your child is already competing with siblings or other family members for attention, he or she might show more patience than is typical for someone his or her age. However, a few key tips can help you teach this virtue to any child in almost any situation:
Set an example. If you’re always yelling in traffic or tapping your foot in line, your child will learn that waiting is a bad thing. Take a deep breath and focus on other things.
Watch your own temper. We all have relatives, coworkers or friends who drive us crazy, but your child shouldn’t learn that the solution is to badmouth them. If you must vent, do so away from the kids. Teach your child to walk away from someone who makes them angry or say something like, “Please don’t call me names.”
Take children to places they naturally have to wait, and teach them to cope. Use things like books, coloring or games, or talk to them about their days.
Use “when-then” phrases. For example, on a long car ride, say, “We’ll be at Grandma’s after six songs.”
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