Listen closely to what I am about to say. Hear me out.
Job 13:17
Remember the first three steps to responding to an angry spouse? Listen. Listen. Listen. Until you listen to your spouse three times, you will not have a clear picture of why he is angry. When you ask questions and listen intently, your spouse knows that you are taking him seriously. The story of Job in the Bible shows Job experiencing great physical suffering and intense emotions. The longer he talked without feeling someone was listening, the angrier and more frustrated he became. A friend—or spouse—who listens effectively can have a significant impact.
The fourth step is to try to understand your spouse’s plight. That is, put yourself in his shoes and try to look at the world through his eyes. It’s true that what happened may not have made you mad. But given your spouse’s personality, can you understand why he would be upset?
Once you’ve gained new understanding, step five is to express that understanding. For example, “Honey, when I try to look at this through your eyes, I can understand why you are angry. If I were in your shoes, I would probably be angry also. It makes sense to me now.” Wow. You have just ceased to be the enemy. You are now a friend, and friends can help friends solve problems.
Lord God, when my spouse is angry, I don’t want to become his or her adversary. Instead, please help me to listen, understand, and communicate that understanding so that I can be my spouse’s friend. Please give me the forbearance and humility to work with my spouse to find a solution to the problem we’re facing.
This is an excerpt from: Love Language MinuteDevotional
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