Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. —Proverbs 13:24
“Spare the rod, spoil the child” is a familiar axiom among parents, especially Judeo-Christians. Many Christian parents use this verse as justification for spanking their children or otherwise disciplining them physically. There is plenty of debate about whether physical discipline is okay and what constitutes abuse. However, this verse makes clear that a parent who loves his or her child will discipline that child. Discipline may be a sign of love, but most parents are at least a bit unsure about how to enact it. If you examine the word “discipline,” you will find the word “disciple,” as in Jesus’ disciples. In Jesus’ day and today, a disciple was one who sat under a particular rabbi, or teacher, to learn from them. They were discipled,
or disciplined, until they knew how to obey their teacher’s instructions and live
by his teachings. From this, we can conclude true discipline is teaching. It is not done in anger, as punishment is done. The goal of true biblical discipline is not abuse or control, or breaking the will of a child. Instead, it is to teach the child what is right and wrong, and why. A disciplined child is one who has had a good teacher. A self-disciplined Christian is one who has learned from God’s teachings and does his or her best to follow them. If you are struggling with discipline today, whether it involves yourself or your child, think about the messages you are sending. When your child does something wrong, do you react angrily? When you don’t do something you should, do you berate yourself? If so, ask God to show you what true discipline means, and how to do it gently and fairly.
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